The Year in Review

 
So with Ally about to turn one, I thought we'd do a small recap of her birthday. So, about a week before I got bronchitis, and could. not. breathe. The doc put me on maternity leave PTL and I stayed up doing breathing treatments etc, but needless to say, I was coughing like crazy. Fastforward a week, and the coughing is better, but I'm dialating, and having Braxton Hicks. After a romantic evening at home, I get restless about 9 pm on the 23rd. I do all the tradition things, Tylenol, 2 liters of water, rest, back massage, shower, they're went from every 7 minutes to every 5 minutes. Aw-oh. John, who was in denial, now would like to go get checked out... and I'd like to stay at home...bc God forbid this isn't the real deal... I do not want to be embarassed and then drive an hour back home to be labeled a "faker." After in a scramble, John forgot to pack up the car, and then once we were actually ready to go, we headed an hour east to Yukon, OK to LDRP. We got there around midnight, then sat in the triage room for 2-3 hours(and didn't sleep), before they decided I was going to stay bc I dialated to 4 cm, and we were gonna do this thing. Interestingly, I was told that I'd be able to walk around, take a shower, get in the tub etc, which quickly changed. The suggestion to the nurse gave her that freaked out look, which I know I've made before, and so I would pace up and down in my room when I got up to go to the bathroom. ;-) Godmom arrived from Denton, Pitocin was turned up SEVERAL times, and we were hangin' in there. Around 5 PM, I'm still a 4... and no epidural or pain meds, but now it's time to break my water... I could not relax. Her head was stuck on my pelvis... and I decided I was done. Epidural time. My body actually got a chance to relax since the Pit was maxed and my contractions were back to back. Thank God for the epi, within an hour I was a 10. Then, the puking began. I puked 10 TIMES. The best part about all of this was that my support system was SO FANTASTIC. Even the nurses kept making comments about how wonderful my husband was and how lucky I was, and really between him and Marti... it was beautiful. When it was time to puke again we just took care of it and kept going. Finally we pushed... forever. I had been told the staff would be ok with alternate pushing positions... turns out they were NOT. I pushed on my back... which helped anyway since she was side scraping my pelvis. She came out with skid marks... but she was alright. Early, with some grunting at first, but WONDERFUL. I think we both just stared at her for what felt like forever. Things got really difficult after that b/c she quit eating...got jaundiced and dehydrated and hospitalized... but somehow we made it. And her theme song became "Yellow" by Coldplay. :-D.

Well, lately, the toddler demon has taken over my sweet wonderful baby and turned her into this independent, fit throwing, more complete person. It's wonderful, but requires a lot of patience. It just had made me think of all the times I ask God for things, and feel like a 2 year old doing it. Lately I've also been rereading Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend. God TRULY is perfect in all things including His relationship with us. Even when we act like two year olds we get space without anger or guilt and then HE HELPS US work through it to figure it out. WOW. Why we deserve that, I don't know. I just really feel like I just went through that with Him, but I see it more now with Ally.
For example: Ally wants EVERYTHING and frequently wants things that really don't make much sense. It's such an amazing time bc she is exploring her environment to learn, gain self esteem, trust, and autonomy. IT'S SO COOL (sigh, I love child development). Everyday, we go through Ally attempting to hunt down the cats in order to eat them i.e.stick them in her mouth. She screams and cries when we take them away (to save them from certain death by slobber). While eating the cats is not appropriate, I really do understand that she cannot learn about who/ what this object is without experiencing it orally. So everyday, I help her experience the cats in a different way...with hands, and maybe once, if the cats will allow it, she'll actually get to put the cat's tail in her mouth so she can learn. Eventually, the more times we've helped facilitate her learning about the cats, in an appropriate way and occassional mouthing, the fits have become less. She is gentle, and she doesn't have to try to eat the cats.
How much more does God do that with us. "God? I want this!" "Well, ok, I hear you, tell me about it. What you want is not appropriate for you or the situation or this time in your life etc. But come to me with your burden and we'll get through it together." Then, occassionally, there is some fit throwing, some serious time outs, and then after FOREVER, things seems to make a bit more sense.
Hopefully I am making sense. :-D Don't get me wrong, there are times when God has changed His mind, but I'm just saying in these kind of situations, I Praise Him for His patience, b/c I need it as a SERIOUS example in my life right now, and everytime Ally tries to eat dirt, the cats, trash, choking hazards, etc.